I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
