you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
