I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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