Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
