im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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