Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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