I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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