Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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