What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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