Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
