is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
