How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
