What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
