I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
