you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
