why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
