we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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