STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
