the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
