So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
