i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
