Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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