we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
