dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
