I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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