i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
