you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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