people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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