I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
