I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize