420 ftw
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
