I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
