WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
