We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
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