1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
