that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
