sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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