I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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