Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize