its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Can't talk, ducks in the car
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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