Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
