I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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