i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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