Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
so explain again why im purple
no
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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