sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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