She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Someone came in the potted fern
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
