I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
