i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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