At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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