How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
