I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize