He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
