Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
