i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
