Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I checked into jail on foursquare
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
