I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
