Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
