I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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