I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
How external is "for external use only"?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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