"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
