I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
