Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
