it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
