RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
