it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
