Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize