Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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