bring money and cleavage
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
