do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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