You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
