Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
