New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
