Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
